Yellow Lasers

Met her at the star wars convention

did I mention, she was looking for love?

had to call her bluff, lady you don't mean how that sounded

(the thousand-pound dude in the 'no fat chicks' shirt's astounded)

thought she'd take it back, revoke, rescind, rewind, retract

ya heard me, she said, I want any man here

to descend in the cave where you conquer the fear

and I'll steer you to side of the force that you choose

somebody's man enough here -- now who?

This girl, now you have to understand,

would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man

so the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor, one extends his

saber but he tripped on his cloak, I stepped to the front then I spoke

I ain't spitting game, look I got a wookie hat on,

but these guys here are used to gettin' spat on

by girls, see you put em in shock.

And this ain't the right con to quote mister spock

but it's highly illogical to me. Girl looked in my eye, said is your mind free?

Cause I got something for you

it is shiny, it is clean

Come on up and I'll adore you

with my yellow laser beam

sitting in her room upstairs,

watching her wind up the buns in her hair

I declare that I'd like to be luke,

unless that's a little bit too perverted for you

I could be jaba, a jawa, an ewok, when we talk "oo ga la gee bla!"

wait -- I seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,

don't remember any character tied to the bed

but that's all right, I'ma just pretend that I'm encased in carbonite

and why that's a nice gold bikini, you make that?

shows off what you got, make no mistake that's

one fine view of chewbacca you're giving me

lower that down here, we could be living the

linguistic lifesyle of the protocol droid.

(Here comes the part where I'm not overjoyed)

Fire! She said, and before I could scream

got a steaming mouth full of yellow laser beam