Gary The Green Nosed Reindeer

In a magical land, in a magical town

Santa and his magic elves are hanging around

Buiding magical toys for girls and boys

To deliever to the world and bring christmas joy

The reindeer and snug in their snow-covered stable

While Santa puts turkey on the dinner table

But a mile away, huddled in the snow

Gary sits scared as the artic winds blow

Alone, on his own, forgotten and lost

Surviving on roots and the permafrost

Dreams of joining Santa's team filled Gary's head

And he'd walk by the stable

When they had all gone to bed

He'd tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh

Cutting Gary's self-esteem painfully in half

He was Rudolph's half-brother, unplanned, unwanted,

By his father's indiscretions

He would be forever haunted

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer

Was of unexpected birth

But one year he saved Christmas

And he proved to them his worth

All of the other reindeer, reindeer

Used to laugh and make him cry

They never let poor Gary, Gary

Fly with them up in the sky

In a big dark castle, on the other side of town

Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown

With a bat on his shoulder, decked in a black cape

He devised a new plan to make America shake

He said, 'I'll destroy Christmas, here's what I'll do:

I'll kidnap poor Rudolph as 9/11 part 2

The west will quake when their holiday is gone

Then I'll rule the world, like my name was Exxon'

He snuck into the stable, so he could steal

Rudolph and he left in his jihad mobile

Santa found out the news and he said 'oh, dear,

Rudolphs gone, there will be no christmas this year'

The elves began to cry and the sky turned grey

Then Gary heard the sobs walking by that day

He shared Rudolph's DNA and had something to say

He said 'I can guide your sleigh

And make everything ok'

Santa said, 'who are you?'

Gary said, 'I'm Rudolph's half brother,

You can tell 'cause my nose is green, instead of red'

Santa said, 'whatever, just put on this harness'

So then one happy Chirstmas eve

Santa came to say, say

'Gary, with your nose so green

Won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?'

Then all the reindeer loved him, loved him

And they shouted out 'hurray! '

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer

Thanks for saving Christmas day

And the toys were delivered across the world

Bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl

Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go

And the brothers reunited in the north pole snow

Rudolph said, 'hey Gary, I'm sorry we laughed

And left you forgotten, like president Taft

We know it made you cry, we're sorry we were mean

We'd like you to join our reindeer team'

And that is how Christmas got it's colors

From the red and green noses

Of the reindeer brothers

You may see them flying high on Christmas eve

Bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve

And Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise

Playstation 2s and Greenday cds

But nada for Osama as they say in espanol

No Gamecubes in his stocking

Now Santa brings him coal

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer

Was of unexpected birth

But one year he saved Christmas

And he proved to them his worth

All of the other reindeer, reindeer

Used to laugh and make him cry

They never let poor Gary, Gary

Fly with them up in the sky

So then one happy Christmas eve

Santa came to say, say

'Gary, with your nose so green

Won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?'

Then all the reindeer loved him, loved him

And they shouted out 'hurray! '

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer

Thanks for saving Christmas day.