Hot Girls Make Guys Do Really Stupid Things

They burned down Troy to get you back,

Young thing, beauty queen, baby got back!

They burned down Troy to get you back,

Young thing, beauty queen, baby got back!

Since the dawn of time, it's always been true

Hot girls - guys will do anything for you

It's not misogyny - because men are dumb

Unfortunately we always succumb

Paris met this girl on his trip to Sparta

And gave her more power than the Magna Carta

36-24-36 see, Helen of Troy rocking size double D

He said, "Hey baby let's flee to Troy

I'll be your boy toy, forget the hoi polloi

So you're married to a king who runs Ancient Greece?

They doesn't scare me," and they sailed northeast

He said, "love conquers all" her husband said "conquer this"

Demolishing Troy with 1000 angry ships (ooh!)

Love's a battlefield, so Paris got iced

Helen married his brother - and that's not very nice

Hot girls will make guys do really stupid things

Hot girls will make guys do really stupid things

Hot girls will make guys do really stupid, really stupid

Girls will make guys do really stupid things

(Some call it fate, while some call it whack

but girls own guys and that's a fact

Some call it fate, some call it whack

but girls own guys and that's a fact)

There was Lady Macbeth, beautiful red hair

Who pushed her man to be a king and millionaire

He said "I'm a thane! There is none higher"

She said "become king, and they'll call you sire"

The murder rampage his wife inspired

And he didn't stop killing 'till he retired

Remember John Hinckley Jr.? He fell for Jodie Foster

In 1980 he tried to join the roster

Of Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth

Stepping up to bat like (who?) Babe Ruth

To win Jodie's heart with sweet innovation

Attempting presidential public assassination

Busting caps in Ronald Reagan like he was 50 cent

Like "look Jodie I love you" - his romantic intent

But Reagan survived, and they locked Hinckley away

And Jodie won't return his calls to this very day

And I'll put it on the table, the ladies get me too

I fall for them at shows, but wait I'm not through

I knew this girl named Dana who lived in Carmel Valley

Brunette with green eyes, a young Kirstie Alley

You think you know someone when you talk about life,

When she lives down the road when you come home from school that's nice

We hung out over break there was tension in the air

But then I went on tour - so what? So there

She called me in Seattle and I called her back

She said "I can't wait to see you", so how about that?

I drove down south to see her, feeling kind of good

It something good should happen, then I thought it would

But I got a flat tire and then I got lost

I got stuck in traffic and I was breathing exhaust

I showed up we hung out she showed me her dorm

She gave me a hug, welcoming and warm

She said, "Stay the night, it's too late to drive back

P.S. we're just friends" Okay, what? Whack.

And here's the worse part:

I left my favorite shirt on her floor.

Public Enemy, the enemy strikes black. Geeze.

This song serves as a lesson. For any guy who's done stupid things for a girl. Like, if you let her borrow your acoustic guitar you got when you were twelve, and learned all these songs on, and then didn't get back from her, because you went to college, and she went to Seattle, and you didn't see her, and she wouldn't get the guitar back to you, because apparently she gave you something stupid, which was of equal value, but not really, because that guitar's really nice, it was made in Brazil, and it has nice nylon strings, that's what I'm talking about.