Goodbye Earl

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends

All through their high school days

Both members of the 4H club, both active in the FFA

After graduation

Mary Anne went out lookin' for a bright new world

Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl

It wasn't two weeks after she got married that

Wanda started gettin' abused

She'd put on dark glasses or long sleeved blouses

Or make-up to cover a bruise

Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

And she let the law take it from there

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta

On a red eye midnight flight

She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan

And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Earl had to die, goodbye Earl

Those black-eyed peas, they tasted alright to me, Earl

You're feelin' weak? Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl

Ain't it dark wrapped up in that tarp, Earl

The cops came by to bring Earl in

They searched the house high and low

Then they tipped their hats and said, thank you ladies

If you hear from him let us know

Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer

And summer faded into fall

And it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand

Out on highway 109

They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam

And they don't lose any sleep at night, 'cause

Earl had to die, goodbye Earl

We need a break, let's go out to the lake, Earl

We'll pack a lunch, and stuff you in the trunk, Earl

Is that alright? Good! Let's go for a ride, Earl