Brownish Spider

While, in my little world, I patched a plaster wall

And in my little world, I was waiting (just dying!)

To take offence at something

This is all there is in my sad little world

In darkness a light shines

On you and on me

I never gathered figs from a thorny branch,

I never picked a grapefruit off a bramble bush

And for the past five- almost six years now!-

You know you haven't once looked at me

With kindness in your eyes

You say Judas is a brother of mine?

But sister in our darkness a light shines

And all I ever want to say for the rest of my life

Is how that light is G-d,

And though I've been mistaken on this or that point,

That light is nevertheless G-d.

Every thing I thought I'd learned

Ambition and illusion turned

To drawings on a loose leaf sheet

Of tarts and cakes I couldn't eat

What in her do I require?

The face of gratified desire

What in me does she require?

The face of a gratified desire

Brownish spider,

Brownish leaf

Confirms my deepest held belief.

No more spider,

No more leaf,

No more me,

No more belief.