Medical Love Song

Inflammation of the foreskin

Reminds me of your smile

I've had ballanital chancroids

For quite a little while

I gave my heart to NSU

That lovely night in June

I ache for you my darling

And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes

My syphilitic sores

Your moenelial infection

How I miss you more and more

You dobie's itch, my scrumpox

Our lovely gonorrhea

At least we both were lying

When we said that we were clear

Our syphilitic kisses

Sealed the secret of our tryst

You gave me scrotal pustules

With a quick flickof your wrist

Your trichovaginitis

Sent shivers down my spine

I got snail tracks in my anus

When your spirochetes met mine.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,

Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,

Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genetalia

Is not so bad for me

As the complete and utter failure

Every time I try to pee.

My doctor says my buboes

Are the worst he's ever seen

My scrotum's painted orange

And my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender

Though my parts are awful raw

You might have been infected

But you never were a bore

I'm dying of your love my love

I'm your spirochaetal clown

I've left my body to science

But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,

Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,

Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-I-tis.