I Know What You're Getting For Christmas

Hey kids, do you know what you're getting for christmas this year?

(No...)

Well lemme tell you about it!

For little Johnny there'll be video games underneath the tree

And Sally in Ohio will get Malibu Barbie

For little Elmer Johnson, old socks that smell like pee

I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the homeless in the street, there'll be tin cans and rain

For the plumber in his saggy pants, another clogged up drain

For the millionaire in the mansion, more money and cocaine!

I know what you're getting for Christmas

Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la.

I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the ladies: A new perfume, with the same old smell

And for the TV Preacher, more Jesus to sell

How about a new Burrito from Taco Bell?

I know what you're getting for Christmas

Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la .Fa la. Fa la.

I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the drunkard in the bar, another glass of booze

For the gambler in Las Vegas, another hand to lose

For the grammar school nerd, another bully to fight

For the lonely and disheartened, another endless night

And all the pretty girls will get another kiss

I know. I know

I know what you're getting for christmas