Billy

Billy is a new man,

He does the best he can

To figure out what it's about

And what the hell he's meant to be.

He does the right thing when expected,

'Nuff respect,

Once in a while he likes a smoke and a joke,

Just as long as it's P.C.

And he thinks that he cries at the movies

'Cause he's in touch with his feminine side.

Sally wants a proud man

Sally wants a proud man

Sally wants a proud man

'Cause she's taken all his pride.

Billy is a new man, at least when she's around

A model father or if needed,

He'll be mother for the day,

He watches "Men Behaving Badly"

Though he'll gladly switch it off

If she's offended

He'll pretend it wasn't funny anyway

He's got one face he keeps for his woman

And one for when he's out with the guys

Sally wants a true man

Sally wants a true man

Sally wants a true man

But he's living out a lie

Better go and find an analyst, or something.

Time for sorting out his head.

Better go and find the book to read about it

Just like his daddy never did.

And he reads Marie Claire at the Doctors,

Just in case there is something he should know.

Sally wants a free man

Sally wants a free man

Sally wants a free man

But she will not let him go.

Billy is confused,

He feels abusive and abused.

He's got his one hand on an olive branch,

The other on his crotch.

He drives a sensible coupé,

He thinks Oasis are OK.

He drinks non-alcoholic lager though

He'd rather have a scotch.

And he tries very hard to be happy,

But there's a few little things in the way.

'Cause Billy wants a good girl

And a bad girl

And a blonde girl

And a brunette

Or a Bond Girl

And a house maid

And a tease maid

And a French maid,

Yeah, a sex aid,

And a Goddess

And a confidante,

A wet nurse and an agony aunt,

A lover, mother, baby sitter,

A young girl with a pretty face

And smart

But not too smart to love an asshole,

Yes, an asshole.

Billy wants to be an asshole.

Singin'

Billy wants it all now

Billy wants it all now

Billy wants it all now

But he's too ashamed to say.

Sally wants a Superman

Sally wants a Superman

Sally wants a Superman

She hasn't got a chance.