The Sacred Chalice, Pt. 1

The legends say the chalice lies in the mountain of a thousand nights

And he who wields it will become crazy awesome (crazy awesome)

And all my life, I've wondered what awesomeness was really like

So I assembled the greatest warriors of our time

It was me, and Ninja Brian

And a robot and an elf

And a hooker that I hired

Uhhh, actually there wasn't a hooker

I, uhh, just remembered

That was another robot

On a quest for destiny and greatness

And maybe some bagels

'Cause it was gonna be a long trip

We will follow the guiding light of the North Star

Onto the adventure of our lives

Never stopping, except maybe for the bagels

With cream cheese

We travelled miles by winter's light

Fought a dragon and a mountain lion

We don't have any footage

But that shit totally happened

(Dramatization!)

Then one day, we arrived at the drawbridge of medieval times

It sounded scary, but the guard seemed really nice

And with his help we'll

Follow the guiding light of the North Star

In whatever direction it points! (North)

We'll always fight to be awesome

As awesome as part two

(Part two coming soon)