The Ultimate Sandwich

Five feet high and three feet wide

No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived

It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side

It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Dear God!)

The Ultimate Sandwich (Oh shit!)

Its taste could drive a lesser man insane

Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains

It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain

It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Sweet Christ!)

The Ultimate Sandwich (Fuck yeah!)

Whoa-ho

It's a shit-ton of chicken

On a dickload of ham

An explosion of clams

Whoa-ho

Top that fucker with yams

Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck

And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to fuck!

I mean eat...what?

The ultimate sandwich uses weapons-grade ham

To awaken your passions, make you feel like a man

It's as dense as an anvil and as big as a raft

Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft

Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts

It's time to get sexy, no ifs, and, or buts

As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts

It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Oh tits!)

The Ultimate Sandwich (Hot balls!)

Whoa-ho

It's a legend of lunches

The lord of buffets

I could slam it for days

Whoa ho

It sets my patties ablaze

It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing

Ninja Brian for practice I nailed your blueberry muffins

Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian.

All right, I fucked that muffin too.

You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this?

Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half.