The Future Is the Past

I went out with my umbrella;

It looked a little grim

The sky was black. The air was cold. The day was gray and dim

But as I strolled towards my goal, the sun burst through the clouds

I threw down my umbrella and then I cried out loud

[Chorus]

Oh! The future is the past, that hasn't happened yet

And everybody knows that what you see is what you get

But the movies in your mind is a place you can not find

And if you see ahead, you are missing your behind

I drove out to the airport

I tried not to be late

But I was very nervous as I walked up to the gate

I dreamed I saw an albatross that soared across the sky

And then I heard our plane had crashed and everyone had died

[Chorus]

I learned I had a tumor;

I knew that I would die

I made a will, I took a pill, and prayed to God on high

But when I walked toward the light, I learned the truth at last

I'd been born in my own colon and the world was up my ass

[Chorus]