I Remember

Who's there?

Who's there?

And I remember flashes of laughter

And lunatics lost in your soul

Seductive propaganda scrolling across my mind

Like guerrilla cinema

Belts and, and wooden spoons

Flies in the afterbirth

Shadows across my mind

Smiling but dead, smiling but dead

Smiling but dead, smiling but dead

Smiling but dead, smiling but dead

Crawling on linoleum kitchens

TV streaming death

And corporate consciousness into my brain

Cracked porcelain sinks

Covered with insects and dirty dishes

The early morning anxiety of, of grade school

Dark stockings to hide the bruises

The secret friends, festive holidays

And everyone in their, in their Sunday best

Pretending to like each other

Generations and generations

Of loneliness, sad mistakes

Stealing away in the dead of night

To escape stiff jawed henchmen

In, in the hungry trucks of an angry slumlord

Miles and miles away

Patience and understanding

Waking on the side of the road

Hissing radiator, hoses cracked like, like burned skin

And days so hot

A nuclear holocaust would've felt like

A cyclonian blizzard

I remember the first time

I felt it alive inside me, turning

But the dead weight moving

Within the folds of its winged embrace

Opening and sliding those black feathers

Inches at a time

Its beak, its, its feet

Pushing and pushing and, and pushing

And digging into the membrane

And I remember going numb

And listening to it hum

I'm feeling it move in its mysteries

Exploring me with power

I remember this

And I know I never had a chance

There was never any escaping it

Amen

Guns and God

Guns and God

Amen