Idioglossia

It all comes back to me

Face to the floor

Heart in my mouth

My forehead hits the pavement

Again - numb - again

Sharing this humility

A circle of humanity

Momentarily black in me

Immomentarily black

So black

Memory leave me be

Close that eye leave love blind

When outcome is preceded

By an outlet that is needed

We forget all but the circle

As soon as the ends have met

As soon as the ends have met

I scratch the surface and see

Someone better than me

Where did I suffer that loss?

What was taken from me?

As I search through the ashes

For someone to blame

I'm afraid to see my face

As I walk through the ashes

I whisper your name

Meeting you have forced me

To meet myself

This blood proves me right

In that the last move is all that

Counts if the beasts must bite

Vow to the floor

Oath to the taste of dust

In my mouth - never!

I bite the words - never again!

Will I let anyone else finish

I'll be the end of every way

Memory let it die left behind

Leave me blind

Despite all these words

Not one could express

What I had inside

Living was to hide

Kneeling in whirlpools

Of pink champagne

Celebrating the bravery of my pain

Something broke

And no water could ever wash

The anger from that first stain

I scratched the surface to find

Someone wicked and blind

Where did it come to that end?

Why can't these scars ever mend?

Memories...

I have swallowed all these tears

Thought they'd be gone

After all these years

Now this heart is waking up

With a new hunger

For my own blood

As I search through the ashes

For someone to blame

I'm afraid to see my face

As I walk through the ashes

I whisper your name

Meeting you have forced me

To meet myself

Face to the ground

Heart in their mouth Foreheads hit the pavement

Again - numb - again

Sharing my hostility

A streetful of insanity

This is payback for every

Tear in me, hole in me

Black in me - black!

Memory history agony

Let me see that hideous

Idioglossia that formed me

Despite all these words

Not one could express

What I had inside

Living was to hide

For every time you froze me out

For every punch every shout

For not believing in me

For your stupidity

For stealing what could have been

Me

It all comes back to you

Is this all I am?