Apologeia

O life, you seem to turn your back to me

Devoid of hope, where can I go?

Without divine judgement and intervention

No one can live, no one can hope

It is to You, my Lord that I turn now

I proved myself more than once

Once You've tested humanity's faith

But now, I'll test Your strength

O pain, so real so everlasting

You break my heart and crush my soul

I see no way out of this but

I chose to live and suffer thee

That's why my Lord, in Your eyes I'll commit

One by one the seven gravest sins

Until Your righteous punishment shall rid me

Of every doubt about Your existence

You can't escape the pain

Of life's suffering

But how sweet it becomes when

It has a meaning

This meaning I found

In wrath, sin and grief

How strong is my hate!

It makes me feel alive