No Friend

These old letters from years ago

I felt it was leading to a

[...]

When I wrote this [...] I may have been finally able to address how it feels

Another brick-red room,

Another black-top town,

Another misspelled band burning their own houses down,

Another pine-box tune to fill the cemetery day

Another star, a touch of orange over purgatory gray,

Another thorny field to scatter fruitless seed,

Another song that runs too long god knows no one needs

More misguided ghosts, more transparent hands

To drop a nickel in our basket and we'll do our riot!

Dance beneath another burning sky,

Behind our painted lips

In scores of catatonic smile-covered ankle-bitten ships

So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea

As protection from the paper-thin perfection

You project on me

When this repetition ends behind the window shades,

A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I've made,

That most unrestful bed, that most original of sins

And you'll say that's what I get when I let ambition win again

I'd hate to let you down

So I'll let the waters rise

And drown my dull reflection

In the naïve expectation in your eyes

Back in a cast bit-part,

Back when I felt most free,

I had a butcher's heart and no one thought they knew me

So before the regiment resumes,

Before the dreaded sun appears,

My driver's waiting

So let's make one point crystal clear:

You see a flood-lit form,

I see a shirt design,

I'm no savior of yours

And you're no friend of mine.

You're no friend of mine

You're no friend of mine

I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine

You see a flood-lit form

I see a shirt design

I'm no savior of yours

And you're no friend of mine

I see myself in the reflection of people's eyes

Realising what they see may not be even close to the image I see in myself

And I hate I might actually be more afraid

[…] I feel like they know the story

I saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat

Twelve years ago I stood on the shore

Jumped in and grabbed the coat

And the river is rushing toward a waterfall

And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat and swim back to land

I let go of the coat but the coat won't let go of me

In any case please let me know if there's more I can give you

If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful