I'll Get By

I used to listen to my life,

I was so put together,

I chose what I wanted to be in that age of chasing sand,

the age of believing in everything,

but I couldn't save you,

I couldn't save what was taken away,

and I'm still singing, and you still can't stay.

You "loved life," and those words have lasted,

I just wish I would have had ears for more than what you said

because I still feel the lack long after.

Such a light body, such a quiet gait leaving behind the weight of the world,

I'll always think it was too early to lose your shine,

I guess the means that ends us means nothing,

I just hope it's the peace we all need,

Because I could love and drown in your God damned smile lines,

but I think I burnt up watching you rallying to stay alive,

and I guess that's fine.

It seems we all get sick,

we all die in some no name hospital with the same colored walls,

and I guess that's fine,

but I want to swallow, I want to stomach, I want to live.

It's been a rough while and some days are worse than others,

there's no proper way to feel, no mirth, no levity, no amazing grace,

just a flame on a lake floating away,

I can't let you lay,

I want you to know, I'm learning patience against my will,

I want you to know, I'll get by, always barely scraping

with just a hunger, with just a heart apart,

it's a hell of a thing.