Familus Horribilus

Kick, kick, kick, kick

Kicking at the gates like I'm an urban guerrilla

And going for the victory like the Thrilla in Manila

We're a nation of shoplifters, we're druggies, petty crooks

It seems to be our style, we haven't horsey looks

It'll be funky, it'll be funky yeah, it'll be funky

Queenie's feeling meanie, we've seen her get her cash taxed

Can't hear the jeers, they fear she needs her ears waxed

Chuckie's riding bareback but only playing polo

It's no go with the missus and now he's going solo

Charlie's lost his marlies, he used to be a pillar

Before he got busted and lusted for Camilla

Squidgy getting fidgety at home all alone

And Gilbey, we know he'll be shortly answering the phone

The family, the family, the family horribilus

The family, the family....

The suitors are all looters and they're closing in on Fergie

Their game was fame but now they've got the lurgy

The family's expanding and everyone's a stand-in

A palace full of malice as everyone is crammed in

As Lizzie's getting older, over her shoulder there's a rival

Dizzy Di is busy sowing the seeds of survival

You wanna sow some seeds, well get on your tractor

And get Eddie out of bed or he'll never make an actor

It'll be funky, it'll be funky yeah, it'll be funky...

The royals are spreading like boils, it does your head in

We have no choice, we're invoiced for the weddings

It's like a soap, a Dallas or a Dynasty

We live in hope to put them out their misery

Fire the freaky family, we're tired of the cheek

As you holiday your life away our futures look bleak

As your castle's burning down you want the people to pay for it

Ask us to defend you, we've got nothing to say for it

The family, the family, the family horribilus

The family, the family...

Kicking at the gates like we think we're on the guest list

We're told to wait - too late, we're getting restless

The crowd is swelling as they're smelling the thrill

There's dancing in the rubble and there's trouble at the mill

There's warning of the storming, news of the resistance

The peasants are revolting, advancing from the distance

There's panic and there's anarchy and breaking the rules

They're making fake money and they're taking the jewels

What will it be? Funky! (4x)

All without a fuss, the coup has been victorious

The banners wave, proclaiming annus glorious

What will it be? Funky! (4x)

It'll be funky, it'll be funky yeah.. (2x)