My Machine

If you had a machine that can make you into anything you wanted to be

Like anything, what would you be, hmm, let's see

I wanna be the queen, no, I wanna be nineteen

Wait, no, I wanna be that horrible thing I saw last night in my dream

I know, I wanna be a supermodel, she's European

A lean sex fiend, oh thank God I can finally fit in those dumb jeans

Poof, then it was me, I was her

I waited for something fabulous to occur, something marvellous and absurd

I waited, there was nothing, but I was something

Gorgeous, crazy, wealth, and I could always reach the top of the supermarket shelf

All of a sudden I was no longer the model or myself

I must have thought about being the stupid box of cereal up on that stupid shelf

Boring, wondered whether I would wait forever

I guess I was a brand that wasn't adequately advertised on TV ever

But it got better, apparently a parent and a child threw me in a cart

It was hard I was smothered covered by a world of pop tarts

And a part of the newspaper that scared me, I think it was the pop charts

And I wish I was a cereal that, that wasn't so smart

Do you wanna step inside my machine

We all got home and they put me right in the fridge

Damn why don't they keep their cereal out so I could at least see where they lived

But I could hear them and it seemed like they were happy

When the kid wasn't napping she was always laughing, I felt jumpy, my bran was crackling

I was grabbed along with the milk and put in a bowl

It was dark, a black hole, must have been the kid's mouth, I don't know

And in I went down the throat, passed the tongue, by her heart, by her lungs

And I could see that she might be dying young

So I tried to patch it up with an old piece of gum that was there

But the damage was done, disease had won, it wasn't fair

But I wasn't gonna be the one that lost her

I wasn't a doctor and I wasn't a name on the list of somebody's roster

Why bother, and by that time I was already at the other end

In the toilet with milk, you know, my old friend from the fridge from way back when

And then we got sucked down into the pipes

What a crappy life, machine that's really not right

Do you wanna step inside my machine

I can't stand it, I said machine why are we here

And it paused and said 'to play video games and drink beer'

That's weird, you're subversive, I thought we had a deeper purpose

Underneath the surface, why do so many of us feel worthless

The machine said don't ask me, ask your magazines

People in Teen and loads of shit people don't need

I started to bleed and said just make me into a bandaid

The size of a giant pancake, wrap me round the whole world to heal the heartache

And if anyone's hungry, well they could just eat me

Or I'll be a peace treaty and no one could ever defeat me

It said chill out girl, you remember being up on the shelf

I seem to remember you kinda just wanted to be yourself

No, I wanted someone to pick me, to love me

To be the greatest brand, I don't understand, I was just tryna comprehend man

Oh you wanted the grand scheme, the big plan, the answer

Well here it is, ah

And then it turned off, and that was it

Because you see, the machine never really did exist

Would you wanna step the machine

Would you be a doctor, would you be a rocker

Would you be a parka keeping someone warm in a lock-up

Would you be a marker that signed the constitution

Would you start a revolution or just play some pro-soccer

How about a stalker, if you were a father

Would you be good at all or would you even bother

Be a beautiful girl or someone that could call her

Would you be a good talker, a stealth bomber

What about Osama, just to see what it feels like

Cause we all love to live in drama

Be a big movie star, fancy ass houses and a big car

Doing lots of drugs, fucking up and break laws

Be a fat man, plumber's butt hangin' out the drawers

Would you fight for a cause, chew on people like Jaws

Instigate wars, push the button would you be somethin'

Or middle-class average with an okay marriage

One-point-three baby carriage and a two-car-garage

Would you be president, would you be American

Would you be better than everyone else as a representative

Would you be a monkey, would you be lucky

Would you be a big giant dick always fucking

Would you be a pumpkin

Would it be your brain inside a vegetable or would you feel nothing

Would you manage or would you suffer

Would you be a lover, be a fighter

Or would you just be alright, could you just be alright

Could you just be alright, could you just be alright

And if all this could come true

Would you be ready, well I'd be ready if I was you