Selfish

Every project need a moment like this

This is mine

Sometime I wake up in cold sweats

Nightmares crowding my nights, feeling regrets

Of my past decisions, past decisions with women

Fast decisions, I smashed, then smashed to the clinic

Trails of spirits, prettier than dandelions

Unborn born kids of mine, yelling out daddy why?

Why I couldn't make it through?

What was special about the other two, two?

I can hear their little voices now

And to them girls that I took down that abortion aisle

All that fussing, all that fighting, all that forcing, I'll

Apologize even though that might mean nothing now

And I don't know that for a long time now (should I)

Swallow my pride and make my peace with the Lord now

'Cause only he knows, if one day I'ma have to reap what I sow

They say that I'm selfish

I don't know why

They calling me selfish

But I don't reply

They say that I'm selfish

I don't disagree

'Cause when I ain't selfish

Nobody lookin' out for me (me, me)

I ain't going to blame it on my age, I was knowing better

Selling dreams while I was fucking, I'm a hoe, whatever

No condoms, I was nothing and damn near whatever

Running around like crown was on top of my heada

King ding-a-ling, shit, what a ding-a-ling

Now I'm sitting in the waiting room, bell ring-a-ling

She comes out, body all depleted

I'm trying to soothe her mind, telling her we didn't really need it

Promising the future kids all the rest of evening

Soon as I drop off a nigga get to leaving

Hit traffic weaving, staight to the next one

It's all good 'til that "we need to talk" text come

And I don't know that for a long time now (Should I)

Swallow my pride and make my peace with the Lord now

'Cause only he knows, if one day I'ma have to reap what I sow

They say that I'm selfish

I don't know why

They calling me selfish

But I don't reply

They say that I'm selfish

I don't disagree

'Cause when I ain't selfish

Nobody lookin' out for me (me)

God, I'm seeing where I went wrong

Am I being punished for everything that I did wrong?

Staring at my son's neck, tryin' to put this bib on

Over the tube that he breathing through

Lookin' back up, knowing I believe in you

And yeah, I'm thankful for the blessings I receive from you

I give 'em all back, for that fucking breathing tube

To be, in me, instead of he

But, I know this gon' make me a better me

Lookin' me again, still think so selfishly

I'm grippin' on that handle, while traveling through the streets

Driving me crazy, tank damn near on E

And I don't know that for a long time now (Should I)

Swallow my pride and make my peace with the lord now

'Cause only he knows, if this is me reaping what I sow