Monsieur R. Monde

The bell on my door rang this morning

From the kitchen I called "Who's that there?"

Through the letter box came a grappling hook

Which grappled me right out of my chair!

Stretched out on the floor I lay helpless

Of my limbs I had lost all command

When into my ear instilling fear

Said a voice "I am Monsieur R. Monde"

"Monsieur R. Monde you are not!

That's an incredible thing to say

For I personally attended his funeral

which was twelve months to this very day!"

A rat flew down from the ceiling

Alighted upon my right ear

said "If Monsieur R. Monde is safe under the sod

Then why are you shaking with fear!"

"My name is not Scrooge" I said faintly

"and from ghosts I have nothing to fear!

But if you are R. Monde returned from the dead

Then what are you wanting here?"

From nowhere I heard a mad cackle

From nowhere a voice to me cried

"Stop calling me Monsieur R. Monde you fool!

My name's Jekyll and you're Mr. Hyde!"