Today I Cried

And then it happened...

I only went and fucking did it

Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it

Weren't even writing raps I was down and out about to fucking quit it

Lucky for me that I fucking didn't

See lily came along when I was at my lowest

Selling wraps of coke not the raps I flow with

I made it and I owe to a chat I had with her,

Who knows where I'd be if that chat hadn't occurred

Back with the bag, with the bag full of herb in it

Instead I got her on a track and I murdered it

My name started causing murmurs in the industry

But none of these labels would work with it until virgin did

Put my first single out and we earned a hit

That's why I never go lippin off

Cuz hear me I know it must burn a bit

Just did a show and everybody knew the words to it

The day I risked everything for I couldn't have given anything more all these years have weighed heavy

But this is something that nothing could have readied me for

What you think all my problems are remedied cos' I get an applause, there not

Today I cried

And I don't know why

But today I cried

And I don't know why

My single went in at 3

My album went in at 2

For a debut not too shabby if I have to I make do

Finally some form of reward for the things I came through

But it's different to the perfect picture people paint you

On the way up you might be a person people take to

Then you break through and the same people who rated you hate too

All of a sudden anything you may do may make news

And I'm sick to death of explaining what is ain't true

Spend a day in my shoes and maybe you would feel the same too

Though I know I've got to make the most of it there will be no take 2

And I'm grateful I would hate to see 'em cos' I'm leaving my dream now

But I don't sleep now

And all these hours awake are making me senile

Slept every time I've seen nan

Even people I've been round my whole life are looking at me like I'm a new me now

They say I've changed but I just don't see how

I've always lived my life taking corners that I can't see round

Never knowing what it is I'm trying to seek out

But I'm even beginning to question me now

Today I cried

And I don't know why

But today I cried

And I don't know why

(Don't know why I cried)

I know it must seem mad to you

It's mad to me

All I've done is what I've had to do

Been who I've had to be

But the path I've walked has been so gravely

It's been a strain to remain humane amongst all this inhumanity

Thankfully I had nan who was a mum and a dad to me

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family

Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy

It's so sad isn't it

Stick your sympathy it means jack to me

Sick of hearing how happy I should be

I just don't know how to be

I can no longer pretend

No more making out to be

Maybe all I needs a slap,

Someone to shake it out of me

Help me to spell my irrational thoughts think more rationally

Sick of being in the state of vanity

It's agony

Am I torn or is it all some twisted form of vanity

Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself, obsessive compulsive depressed, my pressures reflecting my health

Taking care of my career but I'm neglecting myself

Rejected therapy no I just won't accept any help

I pride myself on my honestly but in all honestly today I lied

I was asked how I was and I said I was fine, well I'm not

Today I cried

And I don't know why

But today I cried

And I don't know why