Obey the Beard

Mustache? No Sideburns? No

Goatee? Maybe Beard? BEARD!

Do you feel alone? Do you feel neglected?

Not doing to well with the ladies?

Well I've got the solution for you!

Low self esteem? GROW A BEARD!

Afraid to follow your dreams?

Are you lonely and sad?

You wanna look good in plaid?

Are you working out?

Did your car break down?

Ice caps melting?

Are you stuck in the middle of nowhere

And need to make an important phone call

But the battery's dead

And you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger?

GROW A BEARD!

Grow the beard, feed the beard

Brush the beard, manscape the beard

Stroke the beard, love the beard

Fear the beard, OBEY THE BEARD!

OBEY THE BEARD BEHOLD THE BEARD

ACCEPT THE BEARD RESPECT THE BEARD.

Impress your date with your beard

Eat a steak

Chop down trees

Crush your enemies

Catch a fish

Round house kick

Troll the net

Chia pet? Ch-ch-ch-Chia beard

Drive a truck

Try your luck

Arm wrestle

Teenage Mutant Ninja Beard

Pet the doggie

I pledge allegiance to the beard

Can't grow a beard? Then BUY A BEARD!

Do you have a beard? THEN GROW MORE BEARD!

"You need to shave this thing!"

SHUT UP GRANDMA GROW A BEARD!

Defend the beard, drink to the beard

Cause beards are good and scruff!

I was so empty and lost inside till I grew you

(till you grew me)

I put my faith in my facial hair to get me through

Well I can defy the odds again and again

With you on my chin (I'm on your chin)

With every moment you grow closer and closer to my heart.

Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard for bearder or for

Worse, in scruffiness and in beard till shave do you part? I beard.

Abe Lincoln had a beard

ZZ Top EPIC beards

Dimebag Darrel METAL beard

Chuck Norris KICKASS beard

Number one make it beard

Chewbacca IS a beard

Santa Claus Jesus Christ GOD has a beard.