Two Ton Paperweight

My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!

I wanna drive you off a cliff

Watch you crash into a ravine

For the things you did to me, you...

STUPID CAR!

I wanna make myself a pipe bomb

Blow yer damn engine back to hell

Where I know you're from.

Piece of JUNK!

You aren't even worth the tow

To a junkyard or a place

Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...

WISH YOU'D DIE!

Oh nevermind, you always do.

Can you tell me how much longer it will be

Until I'm rid of you?

I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something).

My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy

I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon

So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!

You leak more than a newborn baby

I change you oil all the time but STILL you need some more

Your fluid puddles come in assorted colors

Such wonderous variety of problems galore

Will there be a time

When I know I can drive

Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see

It start consistently

Without the pain and the suffering

My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!

I outta give you a swift kick

In the muffler, in the tire

Or where ever I desire

You STUPID CAR!

You never get me very far

When you decide driving to the store is a mortal sin

PIECE OF CRAP!

I guess you want a piece of me

Since you're leaving all your pieces

In the middle of the street

You heap of JUNK!

I don't know what I'm gonna do

I just hope that I don't have to take another day of driving you

I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)

The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me

Your miles are approaching seven digits

May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the key

I'm guess I'm just a little angry

But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.

You probably think I'm slightly overreacting

Has your car ever made you think about suicide?