New Year's Eve At The Gates Of Hell

It's New Year's Eve at the gates of hell

Give the antichrist a cigarette and tell him

The boy's here all the way from Oklahoma

Oh Lord, what the hell is that aroma?

It's Jimmy Perkins and all the sonsabitches

Who ripped off musicians and stole their riches

They're burning over yonder with the Fox News whores

Oh, look is that the singer for The Doors

Nope, my mistake 'cause no matter what they did

Poets deserve to be in heaven and by the way, kid

Why am I here when I wasn't that bad?

I just didn't like churches but I never wore plaid

Now I know I'm funky and strip bar dirty

And I like a Les Paul through a Vox AC30

There's something about a lipstick pickup

Plugged right into a Blond Tremolux

But I guess I deserve to be burned alive

Since I pawned by '59 ES 335

And sure I drank a lot of gin and tonic

But I never threw away my Panasonic

I kept that turntable through my divorce

Playing Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Drunk out of my mind singing "Tonight's The Night"

It was as lethal on vinyl as China White

Now maybe one time I used an Ouija board

And I never learned to make a B flat chord

So I got a double headed snake tattoo

I love Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu

And the action and the motion of a roulette wheel

And a woman walking away in a pair of high heels

Now once I drew an inside straight flush

And I wished I could sing like Otis Rush

The truth of the matter is I really can't sing

But I can quote Martin Luther King

His words are stronger than angel dust is

"The arc of the moral universe is long

But it bends toward justice"

Now back to New Year's Eve at the gates of hell

It's kind of like the Beverly Hills Hotel

Before you can get a table next to the fire

A sign says jacket and tie required

The devil is bad and God of course is good

But there's one thing I never understood

God throws us down in hell for all our sins

Burning in a fire and it never ends

The decision is made at the highest level

Seems Got out sources his work to the devil

Like he's an employee on the vice squad

Appears like the devil is working for God

I can't believe I said that I'm losing it

It's New Year's Eve at the gates of hell

Let's party, did I mention Jimmy Perkins

Was a lying son of a bitch?