Sermon on the Jimbo

I have a very dear friend.

And I won? t say who he is, but

he has a bad problem with women. (Oh no!)

I want to tell you that this friend of mine just lusts for those women too much.

This friend of mine, now, I said I won? t say who.

Well just has a hard time with his demonic thoughts of women

& the downright sinful things that he would do with them

if he lost his most important will & promise. (Ha, ha ha, ha? Oh no!)

Huggin? (No!)

Kissin? (No!)

Playin? with the poodle!

Friends, this just upsets this man so much that

He cannot stop thinking those lewd, lustful,

evil thoughts about women? s legs,

Their hips,

Their, their underwear!

I want to tell you fine people this one thing that I tell this friend of mine.

Over, & over, & over again. (I live here.)

I tell him he has a very special friend.

A friend who is there with him,

Day & night, night & day.

A friend who understands his needs,

worries,

Many, many, many frustrations.

Do you know the name of my special friend?

JIMBO!

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Jimbo will sit with you & watch a nature show. (Oh yeah?)

When you are feeling down, Jimbo will lift you up

& take you for a ride in his pickup. (Yeah, yeah.)

Jimbo will come in your house

carrying a six-pack of good will & joy. (Oh yeah!)

When you have sinned,

He will baptize you in the clear waters of his above ground pool.

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

But when the evil flood waters are a risin?

Don? t think that Jimbo hasn? t been there.

Because when evil makes those eyes stop & stare at those?

Bosoms!

Those thighs!

Those lips!

Those ears!

Those small of the backs!

Those panties!

You know Jimbo? s been there, too!

& no,

Jimbo is there with you now

As those demonic feelings down where the sun don? t shine

Are about to take over.

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, to our members.

You? ve got a friend in Jimbo.

You? ve got a friend in Jimbo.