Read About Love

Asked my daddy when I was thirteen

"Daddy, can you tell me what a lover really means?"

His eyes went glassy, not a word was said

He poured another beer and his face turned red

Asked my mother, she acted the same

She never looked up, she seemed so ashamed

Asked my teacher, he reached for the cane

He said "Don't mention that subject again"

(Read about love)

I read it in a magazine

(Read about love)

Cosmo and Seventeen

(Read about love)

In the back of Hustler, Hustler, Hustler

So I know what makes girls sigh

And I know why girls cry

So don't tell me I don't understand

What makes a woman and what makes a man

I've never been to heaven

But at least I've read about love

My big brother told me when I was fourteen

It's time I showed you what a lover really means

Girls like kissing and romance too

But a boy's got to know what a man's got to do

He gave me a book, the cover was plain

Written by a doctor with a German name

It had glossy pictures, serious stuff

I read it seven times, then I knew it well enough

(Read about love)

And now I've got you

(Read about love)

Where I want you

(Read about love)

I got you on the test bed, test bed, test bed

So why don't you moan and sigh?

And why do you sit there and cry?

I do everything I'm supposed to do

If something's wrong, then it must be you

I know the ways of a woman

I've read about love

Well, well, well

When I touch you there it's supposed to feel nice

That's what it said in reader's advice

I've never been to heaven

But at least I've read about love