Valerie

Oh Valerie! You give me heart attack

Oh Valerie! You put me on the rack

Oh you say that I'm history, you say I'm no good

Then you want to be two babes in the wood

That's what I call playing to the gallery

Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

Hey Valerie! She got a scar down here

Valerie! She got gold in her ear

A figure like this, lips like that

Red fingernails, teeth like a cat

She never gets home till five or four or three

Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

Well I'm soft in the head, I give her hard cash

She spends all my money on junk and trash

Nylon fur, plastic shoes

And fifty-seven things she's never going to use

Never, never, never going to use

Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie!

Well Valerie! You're going to choke or drown

Valerie! Why don't you put that down?

If you don't get over this eating jag

They're going to take you home in a body bag

I can't stand to see one more calorie

Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

Now every time I turn my back

She's 'round the corner, looking for a crack

It's going to be the ruin of me

Well I'm running on nervous energy

Running on nervous energy

Oh Valerie! She want to move out of town

Valerie! She want the money down

She want leopard-skin this, tiger-skin that

Matching luggage, lipstick, hat

I can't afford her on my salary

Still I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

Hmm I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

Valerie! Oh Valerie! Well! Whooo