The 80's

I smoked Consulates and Park Drive, drank Nookie Brown

Learned how to skive

Polo mints to hide my breath from my mum

Did a little weed cuz it felt like fun

Did a little bit of speed if my friend had some

Nicked Volkswagen badges I'm a Beastie Boys son

Me so horny, me so young and I still get my washing done

Auntie Joan died of cancer God didn't have an answer

Rhythm was a dancer

Any room for a chancer? That's me in the corner, thanks sir!

I wore astute track suits, British Nike shoes, Kangol hat like LL Cool's

Before I was 'avin it, 'avin it large

They nicked the BMX from out my garage

Knew it was Theo from off the estate cuz every time he'd see me, he'd smile like we were mates

From then on in I'd have to walk to me Nan's

And I'd dream my dreams through a sea of prams

Like a hooligan on the football stands

And I'd throw the v's to Leeds and West Ham

Then I ran, I ran so far away down Scotia Road to a taxi bay

Then I ran again cuz I couldn't pay, a Muslim didn't get his fare that day

I apologise today

Things are better when they start

That's how the 80s broke my heart

And who are you calling poof? You like Wham, man, I hate that stuff

And then my grandad died and left a hole in the family and lots of women had to nanny me

School was a laugh, they didn't have ADD, thick was the term they used for me

(over and over)

Repeatedly

(over and over)

Take my breath away take my breath away

Bidly bidly bidly bom

Pass it on the left hand side, right turn, Clive

That girl in the fourth year, got pregnant and she was raised Catholic, brilliant!

I cried, she cried, we cried, our youth died

Drank cider in the cemetery

The year above us had discovered E and I said it weren't for me

?12.50? I could rob me mum's purse and buy one up Torquay

Met a girl on Monday, drank fizzy pop on Tuesday

Fingered her on Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday and on Saturday

Dumped by Sunday

Things are better when they start

That's how the 80s broke my heart

The wonder years, I've played my part

That's how the 80s broke my heart

Like I said, I lost my virginity to a girl called Anne-Marie, well she said she fancied me

And then she said "fuck me" and I thought 'fuck me, I'm all talk and it'll be over too quickly'

And it was but I couldn't care less, I'd seen a girl's bra and made a mess on her dress, oh yes!

You're now rocking with the best, second person in my year that had seen a breast

I'm in my 30s now and I'm still impressed

Where are the Falklands mum? And what have they done?

Where do girls come from? Where do girls come from? Where do girls come from?

It's the 80s, what you looking at, ya mong?

So young, so long, so young, so long

Too short, so long

What you looking at ya mong?

Too short, so long, too short, so long

So long.