The Cheese Alarm

Roquefort and grueyere and slippery Brie

All of these cheeses they happen to me

Oh please

Rough pecorino and moody Rams Hall

Stop me before I just swallow it all

Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Goats' cheese cylinder, tangy and white

Roll over me in the flickering night

Oh please

Chaume and Jarlsberg, applewood smoked

"The pleasure is mine," he obligingly joked

Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Hey now, Fletcher, don't keep me up late

I can't even fit into size thirty-eights

Oh please

Juddering Stilton with your blue-blooded veins

You can't build a palace without any drains

Oh please

Oh please

Oh please

Half the world starving and half the world bloats

Half the world sits on the other and gloats

Oh please

Truckle of cheddar in a muslin rind

Would you give it all up for some real peace of mind?

Oh no.