I'm Just a Teenage Mutant, Ninja

My name's Raphael

I live down in the sewer

It stinks like hell

From all of the number 2

Our leader's a rat

He makes us wear hats

So no one will know who I am

And no one will give a damn about me

'Cause I'm just a teenage mutant, ninja

Yeah, I'm just a teenage mutant, ninja

Eat up some ice cream-flavored pizza with me, ooh

Righteous! Radical! Bossa nova! Hail Hitler!

What? W-What? Dude, not cool! C'mon, man!

The Shredder's a dick

He makes kids drop out of school

And steal lots of shit

'Cause they think that crime is cool

April's kind of hot

She's on 5 o'clock

But she doesn't know who I am

And she'll never give that ass up to me

'Cause I'm just a teenage mutant, ninja

Yeah, I'm just a teenage mutant, ninja

Eat up some ice cream-flavored pizza with me, ooh

Oh yeah, cowabunga!

No, we don't run from the Foot clansmen

Oh yeah, fuck them!

We're heroes in a fucking half shell

Man, I'm feeling great

We finally killed Shredder off

Wait, look, this is gay

He's bigger and more pissed off

We'd all gonna die

Kiss your ass goodbye

But my ass is under a shell

And what's Shredder tryna tell us now?

I got some bitches inside with weed and pizza

Come and get high with me, my nigga

I'm just a teenage mutant ninja like you, ooh

Oh yeah, cowabunga!

No, we don't run from the Foot clansmen

Oh yeah, fuck them!

We're heroes in a fucking half shell

So, uh... how does wearing a hat hide the fact that I'm a turtle?

(Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shut the fuck up, Donnie.)