J. Edgar

Down on the farm we had a pig, J. Edgar was his name

He'd eat up all our victuals and start back up again

Just like them vacuum cleaners they sell down in the lane

Well, that's how J. Edgar Hoover got his name

Now, momma baked a cherry pie and set it out to cool

So we'd have something good to eat when we got home from school

J. Edgar climbed up on the porch and ate up all that pie

When we got home that mornin' we heard our mamma cry

J. Edgar, J. Edgar, just look what you've done

You ate up the cherry pie that was for everyone

We made it through the dusters, and the hoppers too

But God help us, J. Edgar, 'cause nothin's safe from you

We had an extra man named Bob he wouldn't work a lick

He drank bad moonshine likker, and it always made him sick

We rode to church on Sunday and stayed a while in town

When we reached home at suppertime, poor Bob could not be found

He wasn't in the parlor, and he wasn't in the lane

Drinking in the pantry or sleepin' in the hay

His hat was in the pigpen, that he always wore

Poor Bob won't be drinking moonshine likker anymore

J. Edgar, J. Edgar it just don't seem fair

You ate Bob our hired hand while we were at prayer

Let's say a prayer for old Bob, and our country too

God help us J. Edgar, nobody's safe from you