Fairytale

Cinderella's on her bedroom floor

She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store

'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore

And she forgets why she came here

Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood for shame

She says, "None for you, dear Prince, I'm tired today

I'd rather sleep my whole life away

Than have you keep me from dreaming"

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales

You're so worried 'bout the maiden

Though you know she's only waiting

On the next best thing, next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again

'Cause what else could you do with seven itty-bitty men?

Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend

Says, "Would you meet me at midnight?"

The tall blond lets out a cry of despair

Says, "Would've cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair

I'll have to find another tower somewhere

Keep away from the windows"

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales

You're so worried 'bout the maiden

Though you know she's only waiting

On the next best thing, next best thing

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom

Man made up a story, said that I should believe him

Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight

But I don't want the next best thing

So I sing, I hold my head down

And I break these walls 'round me

Can't take no more of your fairytale love

I don't care for your fairytales

You're so worried 'bout the maiden

Though you know she's only waiting

On the next best thing

I don't care, I don't care

You worry 'bout the maiden

Though you know she's only waiting

Spent her whole life being graded

On the sanctity of patience

And a dumb appreciation

But the story needs some mending

And a better happy ending

'Cause I don't want the next best thing

No, no, I don't want the next best thing