This Ain't Hawaii

The girls are on the beach in their string bikinis

The guys are strutting proudly showing off their weenies

Top 40 garbage spewing expensive radios

As they primp their pampered bodies

And put schnozzguard on their nose

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

Prep school blonds and musclemen with perfect heinies

There's more money on this beach than all the tea in china

These girls all look like Nancy Drew, the boys like Jim McMahon

And their fat, white, ugly parents look like Morey Amsterdam

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

In droves they hit the beach in Porches and Ferrari's

The sun has cooked their brain they're on a surf safari

The Lake is full of creepy snobs, I stare to get annoyed

This isn't Honolulu, this is Illinois

They're surfing in Wilmette