Ida-ho

And funny things happen to Ida

When little boys look her way

She's not afraid to say hello

It's just one of her funny days

Give her the key and she's ready to fire

Burn like garbage in the can

She's not colonial or European

Ida-Ho is just an Englishman

And a mocking monkey isn't talking anymore

Ida lurks behind every door

Give her the key and she's ready to fire

She's a native and she understands

Americana the son of Sam

Cakes and wine and a little sunshine

She has no heart but a lot of soul

Oh the mocking monkey doesn't talk anymore

Ida lurks behind every door

No wise tonight to show them fright

Everything in heaven's so fine

The meatmen are incredibly kind

A public revenge will always get you in the end

That's the mess that scalpels make

She stalks through the streets cheek by jowl

Cheek by jowl, and an awful scowl

That's a nice new dress

Yes, mama chose best

And funny things happen to Ida-Ho

When the big boys say hello

No, no, don't mess with the girl

With a name like Ida-Ho

Everything in heaven's so fine

The meatmen are incredibly kind

A public revenge will always get you in the end

That's the mess that scalpels make

What is wrong with those people out there

Do those anxious swordsmen go mad en masse

No, Ida-Ho is saying Mass Pay your respects to another cigarette

Everything in heaven's so fine

The meatmen are incredibly kind

A public revenge will always get you in the end

That's the mess that scalpels make

She walks through the streets

And she's ready to fire

Ida laughs with an awful howl

No jockstrap flags, and no more rules

No kick-ass laughs from the golden mule

Look what a mess, yes, mama knows best

Everything in heaven's so fine

The meatmen are incredibly kind

A public revenge will always get you in the end

Just like the mess that scalpels make