Friggin' in the Riggin'

It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, you should've seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast was a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger

He was a dirty bugger

He wasn't fit to shovel shit

From one place to another

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The captain's name was Morgan

By Christ, he was a gorgon

Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play

On his fucking organ

The first mate's name was Cooper

By Christ he was a trooper.

He jerked and jerked until he worked

Himself into a stupor

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The second mate was Andy

By Christ, he had a dandy

Till they crushed his cock with a jagged rock

For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper

He was a fucking nipper

He stuffed his ass with broken glass

And circumcised the skipper

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The Captain's wife was Mabel

To fuck she was not able

So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits

Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter

Who fell in deep sea water

Delighted squeals revealed that eels

Had found 'er sexual quarters

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

...