Pre-Apocalyptic Blues

You can read it in the paper

Or watch it on the news

Everybody's got the pre-apocalyptic blues

You better be ready when the shit goes down

You better head on down to Costco

Get you a bucket full of rice and beans

A year's supply of 2-ply for your composting latrines

So you'll be ready when the shit goes down

Don't hesitate don't procrastinate

Or you'll all be running scared

There ain't no second chances for brave or impaired

Did you know there's a couple of commies' hiding underneath your bed

And the zombies gonna eat up all the brains in your head

I got a Rambo knife with a compass

And ballistic bug out bag

Got a AK47 'bout a hundred Dexter Mags

Gonna be ready when the shit goes down

You know what I'm talking about

Isis and Al-Qaeda

About a billion red Chinese

You say you ain't worried and I say honky please

You better be ready when the shit goes down

By my Jacuzzi there's an Uzi and an RPG

Got a stinger missile mounted on my SUV

They won't get to me no matter who they are

I got land mines buried all over my yard

'Cause I read it in the paper

I watched it on the news

And now I've got the pre-apocalyptic blues

I'm gonna be ready when the shit goes down

Well you be ready when the shit goes down