I'm the Guy

I'm the guy who lurks

In the heart of every man

I'm the creepy jerk

Dressed up like your dearest friend

I am Jonah's whale flying friendly sail

I'm the mind you're living in

I, I, I, I, I'm the guy

I'm the guy who thinks

Of the press and interviews

Like to walk a mile

In God's favorite running shoes

If you specify who has made you cry

Who can give the suicidal blues

I, I, I, I, I'm the guy

I'm the one you can't get free

I will always be like a wolf that's at your door

What your women wants is me

I'm the one she's waited for

She's waited for

I'm the one eyed jack

I'm the one you can't ignore

Just give me somethin' better than that

I'm the guy who wants more and more

And more and more and more

And then when I'm through

You'll be turned into

An emotional vegetable

'Cause I, I, I, I, I'm the guy

I'll tell you how great you are

You're the best by far

You're a drop dead centerfold

That girl ain't nothin', you're the star

And your life will be controlled

It'll be controlled by me