Crasher-Vania

It was a dark and spooky Halloween night

When I, Dracula thought that I would invite

All of my freaky friends, who were there in a flash

To a big dance party - a Monster Bash!

Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Mummy were there

While Medusa fed some mice to the snakes in her hair

It was a groovy good time for a Vampire Bat

To fly out of his coffin and - wait, what was that?!

Tis I!

Never fear, Simon Belmont is here!

To destroy evil monsters, and all you hold dear!

I will end your cruel necromancing!

Actually... we were just dancing - GYAAAH!

To hell demon beast, from whence you came

You're in Castlevania, this isn't a game

Now run away, free this land of it's chains

As God is my witness, I shall see you all slain!

Later that night, we went back to my castle

Where we could dance in peace, and also never get hassled

We had fun playing Twister on my queen-sized bed

The party was smaller 'cause Wolfman was dead!

At midnight I heard the Grim Reaper say

"I brought Guitar Hero, so who wants to play?"

It was Swampman on vocals, Nosferatu on bass

Boy, you should have seen the silly funny look on his - OH God NO

TIS I!

Never fear, Simon Belmont is here! (Shit!)

The power of Christ is infused in my spear!

I'll put an end to your horrible reign!

But we're just playing Twister!

I RIP OUT YOUR BRAIN! (Agh!)

I will restore the glory of light

With my whip and the crystals, I'll take back the night!

You knocked over the chips...! Augggh!

Sound the death knell!

Medusa you she-bitch, I will see you in hell!

For the love of God, Simon, what the fuck is your deal?!

You don't invite me to your parties. Do you know how that feels?

Are you friggin' serious? You killed all my guests! Just 'cause you felt left out?!

No!... Yes.

Well, monsters like me can still be your friend

Just stop bringing our lives to a God-awful end!

Now, since we are the only ones left alive

Let's play two-man Twister! Come on, give it a try!

Alright!

Right foot green... AHAHAUGHH!

Sorry! Sorry, force of habit. Well, he is dead...

Looks like I have won at Twister!