Mind Of My Own

It's four o'clock, the TV's on

My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone

I change the channel, I change my mind

I change my life; I wanna leave it all behind

'Cause I don't have a mind of my own

I am influenced by everything that I see

And I can't help it now

Everything in my life just thinks for me

Can't help this habit; I'm in love with my disease

Worshiping my idle time, a life I cannot seize

Trapped by depression and I sleep all day

But Xanax, Valium, Ativan makes it all okay

It's so much more than a cry for attention

No loving hands can soothe this ache

It's so much more than my war with the world

It's my own degradation, it's my own self-hate

I preach my pessimism

Right out loud to anyone who'll listen

I'm not afraid to be alive

I'm afraid to be alone

Late at night, my monsters find me

From under the bed or out of my past

All alone with nobody to talk to

Sanity gets put to the test

I close my eyes but I'm still haunted

Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep

As all my world crumbles all around me

Inspirations become admissions of defeat

Cause I don't have a mind of my own

I don't have a mind of my own

I don't have a mind of my own

Everything in my life just thinks for me