Mercury in Retrograde

I got a haircut in Norway

When all the weight started pulling me down

Smelling like a waterlogged wet dog

Ain't no way to travel

But as soon as I chopped it all off

It just grew back, thick and brown

I keep tugging on the thread

Hoping it all might come unraveled

I keep trying to throw it all away

But it comes right back around

They come backstage and on my bus

Pretending to be my friend

Shaking hands behind grandstands

All wearing the same old grin

Oh, but none of them bother knocking

Oh, they all just come on in

Asking me what all my songs mean

Wonderin' if they're all about them

Mercury must be in retrograde again

But at least it's not just hangin' around pretendin' to be my friend

Oh, the road to Hell is paved with cruel intention

If it's not nuclear war, it's gonna be a divine intervention

Living the dream makes a man wanna scream

Light a match and burn it all down

Head back home to the mountain

Far away from the pull

Of all the journalists and sycophants wielding their brands

And all the traveling trophies and award show stands

And all the haters wishing they was in my band

Sorry boys, the bus is plumb full

Mercury must be in retrograde again

But at least it's not just hangin' around pretendin' to be my friend

Oh, the road to Hell is paved with cruel intention

If it's not nuclear war, it's gonna be a divine intervention

And there's nothing for me outside this hotel room

But another letdown, lonely day

Tour is almost over, and I'll be home soon

And it's all been done two or three times anyway

Mercury must be in retrograde again

But at least it's not just hangin' around pretendin' to be my friend

Oh, the road to Hell is paved with cruel intention

If it's not nuclear war, it's gonna be a divine intervention