The Ascension

When I am dead and the light leaves my breast

Nothing to be told, nothing to confess

Let the record show what I couldn't quite confess

For by living for myself, I was living for unrest

Then the evidence came back in a chariot of vindication

Something to behold, glorious in its path

But the prophecy fell back as it gave to me an invitation

Show them what is right, show them what is blessed

But now it strikes me far too late again

That I was asking far too much of everyone around me

And now it strikes me far too late again

That I should answer for myself as the ascension falls upon me

So what should be said of a life that leaves its mess?

For once your life was sold, it could never be possessed

You were selfishly as a continent, you were finally at your best

For you favored for yourself when selfishness was blessed

Then Cordelia came back in a chariot hallucination

Something to rejoice, glorious in its wrath

But the prophecy was a pantomime as it came to me in accusation

Show them what is right, show them what is best

But now it strikes me far too late again

That I was asking far too much of everyone around me

And now it strikes me far too late again

That I should answer for myself as the ascension falls upon me

And now it frightens me, the thought against my chest

To think I was asking for a reason explaining why everything's a total mess

And now it frightens me, the dreams that I possess

To think I was acting like a believer when I was just angry and depressed

And to everything there is no meaning, a season of pain and hopelessness

I shouldn't have looked for revelation, I should have resigned myself to this

I thought I could change the world around me

I thought I could change the world for best

I thought I was called in convocation

I thought I was sanctified and blessed

But now it strengthens me to know the truth at last

That everything comes from consummation, and everything comes with consequence

And I did it all with exultation while you did it all with hopelessness

Yes, I did it all with adoration while you killed it off with all of your holy mess

What now?

What now?