To Return Now

standing up to the world and all you see, now

telling yourself you've gone away for good, now

but there's not enough time

and there's no really good reason

to return now

feeling horrid and happy seems the same, now

a crazed grin and furrowed brow's the norm, now

but you know there's a difference

a subtle inhibition

that you try to block out of

your fragile mind now

giving all that you've got to think good thoughts, now

and you find you've given all of it to her, now

but there's not enough time

and there's no really good reason

to return now

I've heard 'em say "everybody plays the fool", now

but I'll never be anybody's dupe, no

'cause there's not enough time

and always a good reason

to return now

I've felt pain, I've been anesthetized

by sharper tongues and brighter eyes

weak at the knees and petrified

I've bowed down before and fucked my pride

the last time I went away

was only when I was out of my mind

but this time it's for real

and I can't get myself to get up to return now (Koski)