Twenty Two Fourteen
We were best friends, destined to learn each others lessons
You called with a question and I ignored your message
Tension sets in and I can say that since then
At 10:14 PM I finally regret this.
Cried for your attention.
Blew out your birthday candles.
Threw my toys when I was mad.
The worst way to handle it.
When you told me the dog died.
But I let him out without a leash
And didn't tell you to avoid being hogtied and beat with reeds.
I told you the wrong lies.
Said the truth too often.
Though the other boys were good
I never threw caution.
I locked you out of your bedroom.
And hid the key under the door.
Thought I was smartest guy,
And never really wanted more.
I drew disfigured pictures of you
In odd and screwed up ways.
With the same blue markers on the wall
Where I drew my name.
Cheated in board games.
Never liked to play fair.
Made fun of you at daycare.
And told you I can't Share.
I forgot to get a gift.
Never called on Christmas.
Made jokes at funerals.
Never sweated the little shit.
Tore pages out of your journal.
By the way, I unlocked your journal.
Now there's a bit of an awkward turtle.
Disobeyed the doctors orders.
I punched holes in your walls.
Shattered your painted windows.
Hid in the shower for several hours
Till you made the amends grow.
I walked all over you.
Told you that you weren't pretty.
Of course, I'll be damned if I ordered you
To stand where you were sitting.
I peer pressured you,
Even though I wasn't your peer.
Pulled down your curtains
So respect would disappear.
Said I was going one way
But then I'd go another.
Turned my back on you when you
Acted like my own mother.
Promised I'd quit smoking.
You asked me to quit joking.
Told you you were adopted
You cried, and told me to stop it.
I made your computer crash.
Deleted your photographs.
Scratched all your records
Never paid you back for the load of cash.
I took off without you.
Constantly pushed you away.
Kept secrets to myself,
But then I'd ask you to stay
I put As on the back of your shirt
So you can see where it actually hurts.
Blamed you for attacking me first.
Told you that you're asking for worse
Things to come.
I bleed your blood
I need your love.
I keyed your truck.
Wasn't afraid to fight back.
Never got on the right track.
Turned your eyes black
When I gave you a hard slap.
I dragged your ass on the carpet
And gave you bad rug-burn.
Showed the skies would darken when I
Said I don't love her.
We were best friends, destined to learn each others lessons.
You called with a question and I ignored your message
Tension sets in and I can say that since then
At 10:14 PM I finally regret this.
I decided to steal your money.
Gamble it all away for good.
Then I had you bail me out.
Just because I knew that you could.
Vandalized your village.
Tantalized you and pillaged.
Slowly ripped out your wallpaper.
And Turned the water to spillage.
Smashed your mirrors in.
Then I Crashed your American
Car, that I borrowed without asking
For your parenting.
Cut off your hair while you slept
Slashed your clothes into nets.
Sold your house and your belongings
Till you had nothing left.
Everything was your fault.
Cause I didn't carry a heart.
Then you took the blame
I didn't know where to start.
Constantly called you stupid.
Even though you were always smart.
Stopped calling you by your name.
We were only falling apart.
I ignored you on one condition.
To further my own position.
Avoided eye contact to put
You in a cold submission.
I tripped you until you fell.
Bruised your arms and legs.
Held you down and tied you up
And made you fall again.
I cut off your air supply
Kept you underwater.
Held you back, and weighed you down
So now the space is larger
I spit in your face and called you a whore.
Chose to hang out with a girl
Instead of you, so I guess you have the right to say that now it's war.
Tortured you with a lighter.
Pushed you off the roof
I stabbed you with a box-cutter.
Buried you with the truth.
Pretended it never happened.
Wiped my hands clean.
Gave it the cold shoulder
Cause I don't owe a damn thing.
Stuck to my resolutions.
Smiled everyday.
Read the paper in the morning
Survived in many ways.
Stole your identity,
And achieved serenity.
I left the rest of me
Deep inside your memory.
Started a new life,
And forgot what you meant to me.