Christmas Turkey Blues

Hey kid, why the long face

Is it 'cause Santa Clause is flying right over your place

You've been a bad kid all year

So quit you snivellin' sucker and wipe up them tears

You don't deserve a damn thing

You're not even cute and your attitude stinks

It must suck to be you

Nobody likes you so what can you do

You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife

But come each December do you fear for your life

I'm your turkey so your troubles are small

I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball

I've got the christmas turkey blues

If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too

I've got the christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too

You sir, you look like heck

Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque

Or maybe your woman left you

Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too

Is that why you're wreaking of gin

You look dishevelled and there's drool on your chin

You thought that this love would laugh

But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass

Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal

How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel

I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish

It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish

I've got the christmas turkey blues

If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too

I've got the christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too