I Am Not American

I am not American,

Though I live in North America

Which is part of the Americas

Which should make me an American

Geographically Canadians,

Are certainly Americans

As are Venezuelans,

But not Hawaiians

They're out in the middle of the Ocean

Just like the U.S. Virgin Islands,

They really shouldn't say they are Americans,

Or even virgins

How could two whole continents,

Lose their name to one constituent?

Where were we when the U.S. went,

And took the word American away?

But to be fair to them,

Their other name options,

Like U.S.A.ers or United Statesians,

Were pretty bad

Still I want to be as American,

As the French are European,

Or those in Antarctica are Antarctican

Even if they're just penguins

That leaves us Canadians as Northern North American,

But Alaska's Norther curse them

We're surrounded by Americans

Americans, Americans!

I just called those U.S.A.ers Americans

A name meant for two continents not just them

For if I said I was American,

People would probably think I came from Maine

Still I think I have a plan,

Let's become Antarctican,

And join up with the penguins

For just like them, we're not American!