Particle Board

Well my baby came at me with a 2x4

So I fought her off with sandpaper

It was 60 grit, it was really rough

And it made a lot of sawdust

But we patched things up with love and glue

We went to the church and said "I do"

Our honeymoon was at a hardware store

Our love's a lot like particle board

Particle Board, it ain't got no grain

Unless you paint it with a darkwood stain

Particle Board, it doesn't take no brains to know that

Our love's a lot like particle board

Well I heard the train come rolling by

With cattle on board, so we decided

We should drop everything and hop that train

And take a one-way trip to the slaughterhouse

Well we stared at the cattle as they took the walk

To meet the man who worked the saw

We stared at the blood and the guts and the gore

It looked an awful lot like particle board

Particle Board, it ain't got no grain

Unless you paint it with a darkwood stain

Particle Board, it doesn't take no brains to know that

Our love's a lot like particle board

We made love on a flat bed truck

She worried about getting splinters in her butt

I said don't think about those problems when we rut

The deck's made of particle board

Ahh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Particle board, you could make a dresser

Or a shelf or a hutch or an ottoman

You could leave it like it is or paint it up

It's still gonna be made of particle board

Particle board, it's useful stuff

It's stronger than glue, it's better than fluff

It sounds like a simile and that's enough

To say that our love's a lot like particle board

Our love's a lot like particle board

Our love's a lot like particle board

Our love's a lot like particle board

Ahh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Particle Board!