Tv Weather Guy

My father was a lawyer, mom's at university

My brother and my sister, they both have their Ph.D.

My grampa was a pilot shooting Nazis from t he sky

But I am the most famous, I'm a TV weather guy

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke

H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky

But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy

They said that I'm not qualified to be on the TV

Don't know Celsius from Fahrenheit so I just say degrees

I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies

And end up being right more than the guy on channel five

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke

He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky

But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy

On Saturdays I must be out of bed by five A.M.

Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens

Greeting all the viewers with a "Hi-hi-hip-hello!"

'Cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show

He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock

He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog

Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry

He's a lousy clown but a good TV weather guy

They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman

Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland

But I know that some day I will reach my TV goal

When I guest star on Baywatch or 90210

'Til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke

He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys

But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy

He's got a steady income as a TV weather guy!