Handball

3000 miles is a long way to go

To be beaten by a dwarf in Mexico

He was an aged cheat who didn't give a damn

Couldn't use his head so used his hand

They forgave the blind old sod

And Maradona claimed it was the Hand of God

So out of the Cup but what you expect

From a poxy little country and a circus reject?

Argy-bargy

Hanky-panky

Naughty, naughty

Handball

The British boys in the Mexico sun

Stood their ground a

And Hare Duke on the run

Same old story you always start

You not got the bottle and you ain't got a heart

And we're the English and we play it fair

We lost the Cup but we don't care

Everyone knows the final score

But who won the Falklands War

Two or one, a final score

Now on to the Falklands War