The Food Blues

I was sitting in a motorway restaurant

When the waiter came up he said what do you want

I looked at the menu, it looked so nice

Till he said let me give you some advice.

Spaghetti and potatoes they got too much starch

Pork chop and gravy are bad for your heart

There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal

Ravioli is a dead man's meal.

Bread's got preservatives, nitrites in ham

Artificial coloring in jellies and jam

Stay away from donuts run away from pie

Pepperoni pizza's a sure way to die.

Sugar rots your teeth and makes you put on weight

Artificial sweetener's got cyclamates

Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese

Coffee ruins your kidneys, so does tea.

Fish's got mercury and red meat is poison

Salt's going to send your blood pressure risin'

Hot dog and salami got deadly red dyes

Vegetables and fruit are sprayed with pesticides.

I said what can I eat that's gonna make me last

He said a small drink of water in a tiny wee glass

Then he stopped and he thought for a minute

Never mind the water, there's carcinogenics in it.

I got up from the table and walked out into the street

Realizin' there was nothin' I could eat

Ain't eaten for a month but I'm feeling fine

'Cause he did not mention beer, whiskey and red red wine.