Mandy Goes to Med School

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger

Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv

Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing

Let's start in with a test of your intelligence

And zest for the counter-productive

Up and down and roundabout and out the back

And keep your mouth shut tight

The lights are staying out but no sweat I've got aim like a mack truck

Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more i can fit there

Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy

I've been dying to find out the hard way

Ive been taking friends to the alleyway

Two down now but who's counting anyway?

Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV

All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery

Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options

How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

I've been getting up close and intimate

Some close calls but I'm getting into it

In some states they say you can burn for it

But ill burn that bridge when i get to it

It's not a bad thing

To get professional

It's got a nice ring

Mandy goes to med school

I've been taking tips from the government

I've been getting damn good at hiding it

Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it

Two down now but who's gonna notice it?

And if you show up and I am unavailable

My partner brian would love to take care of you

He is a nice man

Thoroughly reliable

He's in a rock band

And he goes to med school.....